


We Can't Always Get What We Want

by DifferentChild



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Prompt Fill, avengersgen, nefhiriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 09:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1643939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DifferentChild/pseuds/DifferentChild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from nefhiriel for Avengers Gen Round 7:</p><p>Bruce - Not Getting Everything We Want<br/>This post on tumblr just gave me a heap of Bruce feels. Gah. I'd love weep pathetically over any fic that dealt with that moment (Natasha noticing? Or just Bruce's thoughts during the scene? Bruce feels/regrets in general?).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Natasha

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nef (Nefhiriel)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nefhiriel/gifts).



> Prompt:  
> Bruce - Not Getting Everything We Want  
> This post on tumblr just gave me a heap of Bruce feels. Gah. I'd love weep pathetically over any fic that dealt with that moment (Natasha noticing? Or just Bruce's thoughts during the scene? Bruce feels/regrets in general?).
> 
>  
> 
> All the feels. Goddamnit nefhiriel, this is for you and alal the ridiculous feels you’re giving me. T_T_T
> 
> Trigger Warnings at the very bottom.  
> _____

“Well I don’t every time get what I want”.

Unfortunately, Natasha knew that all too well. While her outward appearance didn’t change, the action combined with the words struck too close to home.

The Black Widow always got what she wanted. And if she didn’t, she got revenge. Things were simpler as Black Widow. But when Natasha Romanov became involved? That’s when things got complicated.

Natasha was human, enhanced, but still human. Many things didn’t go the way she desired. If the statement had come alone, that would be one thing. But damn him, damn Banner for touching that baby’s crib. I should’ve picked the place more carefully. It was a rookie mistake…So she chided herself. The crib reminded her of times when she’d longed for children, back when she was young and less corrupted. That was before so much had happened…

Pregnancy used to be a dream for a little girl. As Natasha grew in the Red Room, it was no longer a dream, but a nightmare. A pregnancy meant abortion, and not the kind in a clean clinic with up to date technology, the kind where she was screaming internally, begging for it to end. Sometimes begging silently for forgiveness.

She remembered babies, the ones inside because they never came to term, conceived as a result of force; leaving her sobbing and asking what she had done to deserve such a thing. Never aloud of course, she wouldn’t be here if it had been spoken.

No, babies, children…they were things of the past, things she once dreamed about. The Red Room had made it clear no such things would happen on their watch. And even when she’d joined SHIELD, when she’d been ‘safer’, there were complications. Complications with her life (she was a spy, a former assassin, she’d never live a normal life). And complications with her body (scarring, trauma, infertile, and other such words that she blocked out for fear of having to deal with them…)

O yes, Natasha Romanov was well acquainted with the saying ‘We can’t always get what we want’. More acquainted than she’d like. But her face said none of that. Her face remained the same, and time that seemed an eternity, was merely seconds in reality. While her mind was focused elsewhere, he mouth moved on autopilot, repeating the lines she’d been told, as thought it were a play.

“Doctor we’re facing a potential global catastrophe…”Maybe one day she’d tell him, given the expression he had (the pain she saw in those eyes) she was certain he’d understand. Maybe one day they’d commiserate on how their lives turned out differently. But not today, not this time. She didn’t know him well enough and this wasn’t about her. It was about SHIELD, it was about Earth. But one day, maybe someday soon, it could be…


	2. Bruce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued based on the same prompt! Two sides of the coin, Nat's thoughts before, now Bruce's!

“Well I don’t every time get what I want.”

And that was an understatement. When he’d been young, before the Hulk, before all that, things had been fine. Well, things had never been fine for one Robert Bruce Banner, but it hadn’t been quite the same.

For little Bruce, as he always preferred to be called, things had never been smooth persay, but they hadn’t been so green. His father beat him and eventually killed is mother. He’d been punished for the most ridiculous things, and forced to keep it all inside. It was hell. But then college, then a new chance, a new opportunity, then there was Betty.

There was hope with Betty, before; there’d been a lot of hopes and dreams. They’d thought of what would happen in the future, nothing close to that one event that changed it all. He’d dreamed of a little house, just big enough for them and a little room to spare. He’d dreamed of a yard, small front yard, but large enough backyard. He’d always been a private person after all. 

Bruce had hoped that the extra room would give them space to start a family, one of their own. It would be different. It would be better. He would not be his father that was for sure. A child, maybe two. A boy and a girl would’ve been nice. Bruce was truthfully rooting for a daughter because a little girl of his own seemed awfully sweet. A little girl to dance and sing for him, perhaps do some experiments. Though a boy to play sports with in the yard sounded fun. Then he’d thought more on it and laughed, because why couldn’t a girl do it all? Though so could a boy.

Perhaps it was the ‘American Dream’ in a way, it never seemed unreal or unattainable. Nothing seemed impossible at that time. He’d never imagined the ‘who’ before Betty, and there’d always been that thought that even if for some, inexplicable, reason they didn’t work, there was still hope. There was always hope…until the incident.

The Hulk changed everything.

From that point on his dreamed seemed impossible, so far out of reach on the best of days that it was just a tease to consider it anymore. And after that he didn’t even know if he could produce a child, not that he’d be opposed to adopting. But with the Hulk around that wasn’t safe, no one was safe with him anymore.

Sighing, the scientist looked down at the crib he was touching. A small crib splashed with some green paint. How ironic. He had to wonder if the Widow planned this when bringing him here. Did she know what kind of pain she caused him by seeing this? By being taunted once again with the thoughts of the past, the hopes and dreams that had been shattered?

Well that was her job. He wouldn’t put it past her. But something about her expression spoke volumes about the pain this was causing her as well. Perhaps they had something in common, or perhaps it was deception in order to make him more willing. Clearly he wasn’t in the proper state to judge someone he hardly knew when he could barely make sense of himself. Bruce forced his emotions inward, not wanting to show even more of himself.

Truthfully, when looking back upon it, he hardly ever got what he wanted. And wasn’t that the case here too? SHIELD wanted him, he wanted to have a normal life, and that was going to happen, so what were his options? It looked like once again, his will would be pushed back, his desires shoved down, always for the ‘greater good’. Though instead of his father, instead of Betty’s father, it was an organization. Perhaps everything came back to some man deciding they knew what was best for him, rather than letting him decide himself. But he let them. Every time, he fought, just hard enough to try, but eventually he fell just a little short.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW this is gen but the prompt…with Bruce there was someone before. With Natasha? There hasn’t been a constant someone romantically. I’m sorry if it’s not gen enough. I tried to make it so!
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading though!

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: Miscarriage, Rape, Abortion, Abuse, (And I don't even know how to classify most of the god awful stuff the red room did to her)
> 
> So there we go. T_T_T_T All the feels. Perhaps I’ll write a follow up, where they talk later. I have so many feels about this. I do I do. T_T_T But this is also for avengersgen and there may be other things that spawn from this that are not so gen.
> 
> And yea. So I know it was about Bruce (writing that too, a different oneshot) but Natasha I connect with, I love.


End file.
